Significant Talk

Eleven years ago Betty (wife) and I had a meeting with a Lawyer and established an Estate Plan. We didn't have a lot, but we did own a house and had some investments, including IRA's. It seemed appropriate to lay out some plans about what to do when we were gone. We determined to name our oldest and youngest sons as co-trustees to manage things when both of us had died. Both live in Montana and both were unmarried at that time. They are still single. I was in my mid-70's, already much older than my father and older brothers at their deaths. The assumption was that I would die before Betty. Didn't happen. She died nearly 4 years ago at age 80. I will be 85 in a couple of weeks.

Today I had that talk with the successor trustees that many elders are reluctant to have with their children. Ken was inn town for a meeting so I picked up up and with Pete we talked about the Estate and my suggestions about what should be done when I am dead. (I've had by-pass surgery twice - the last time in October 1980; a stent placed in a coronary artery in 2006; have a CT scan showing a closing of my aortic valve with a lot of stuff around it which could very well go to my brain if surgery was done. There is also a minimal Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. As I told the sons. the talk today was "just in case". I feel pretty good a this time and am taking things easy. I fully understand the nature of my health and have signed up for "Comfort One". This, in Montana at least, means: "Make him comfortable and do not resuscitate". Again, I have no anticipation that this might happen soon. I simply felt that the TALK should be done and that the 'trustees' should be acquainted with my computer programs.

Lost Symbol II

I've finished. A gripping read and I fell for all of the false leads. After the "mystery" is pretty much solved there is still the question of Robert Langdon's lack of faith. The story point out that many members of the Masonic Order are not men of traditional religions, but that they are men who believe in some "higher power". I was reminded of on of the most faithful attenders of my Student Pastorate who was a Mason. He would not become a member of the Baptist Church because he did not accept Christian faith. He told me once that he did believe in God and he wanted people to know that about him at least.

One phrase toward the end struck me as particularly pertinent these days. Katherine Solomon, Noetic Scientist, says: "Small minds have always lashed out at what they don't understand." It made me think of such persons as Rush LImbaugh, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, and the T-Party crowd shouting out there disrespect of President Obama and the current Health Insurance discussion. One can only hope that the House and Senate will find a realistic outcome to this major problem.

The Lost Symbol

I got this one last week from Amazon for my Kimble. It is a fascinating and compelling read, but at this point I'm only about 60% through. The first chapter talks about a secret ceremony inducting a man as a 33rd degree Mason. There was a mention of the Masonic leather apron which made me recall a part of my father's last rites. There was the traditional Christian service, but he did have on his leather apron. Dad was very much involved in Masonry as Secretary of his Lodge. Such societies have never had any appeal to me.

Dan Brown's tale goes on about a sacred pyramid which presumably contains the way to holy mysteries. I find the story fascinating because much of the action so far centers in the U.S. Capitol and the National Cathedral. I have had he privilege of exploring each. Many years ago, before our Nation became paranoid, I was able to explore the lower levels of the Capitol unescorted. There was the original Supreme Court chambers, and many other historic places. I certainly was aware of any deeper recesses which Brown speaks of. I also went up the hill to visit the National Cathedral and explored the various "chapels" unescorted. Some were being used for services at that time. It is a magnificent building.

I guess one of the joys of reading nowadays is that my age and travels give me some deeper understanding of the literature. For example, most the John Jakes' Kent Family Chronicles were set in places I've lived or visited or in a history which was a part of my own family history.

I have no problem in recommending The Lost Symbol for you reading pleasure.

Monday??

Well, Pete and I usually take stuff to the local Food Bank which people at the Church have contributed on the first Sunday of the month. We did it today (Tuesday) since yesterday was Labor Day and few there were who were working. At Church this past Sunday we had a combined service with both we traditionalists and those who consider themselves to be "contemporary". The choruses, guitars and drums don't do it for me so I go to the 9 o'clock service. Actually IT doesn't do much for me either since the Pastor's sermons would fit well into a Sunday School setting - 4 points and 30-35 minutes. No choir, and I believe that he prefers it that way. Anthems take up his time.

So the combined service was designed in order to have "dinner on the grounds" for lunch. It was worth the change. The only problem seemed to be that people who brought dishes for the Luncheon did not bring cans, etc, for the Food Bank. There was just one bag of stuff plus what we took ourselves. The Congregations typically does better than that. Billings is constructing a very large building to house the local Food Bank. This outfit provides a very important and much needed service to the community.

Generation rumination

I woke up this morning thinking of my own history. That is, the number of generations in the family I have been a part of. I have strong memories of my Dad’s parents: Alfred Burman Taylor and Ora Arminta Chapman. He was born in 1857 and she was born in 1861. I have memories of the Civil War through their contacts as youth. Grandfather Taylor’s father, Moses, was born in 1814. My father, Clarence, was born in 1884. He was married to Lulu Belle Petit in 1907. To this union 9 children were born with 7 surviving to maturity. I have on file a copy of Dad’s draft registration for WW I although with a family he did not serve in the military. My memory is that he sold War Bonds as a part of his war effort. A part of these ruminations dealt with the fact that I served as a pall bearer for Grandfather Taylor's funeral at the age of 15, and was notified of my father’s death while serving in the U.S. Air Corps at the age of 18. At some point I wrote a brief poem: “Six stalwart sons, they bore their father’s bier, and from each eye there fell a silent tear.” Something more about “two had hoped to see him once again” but I don’t recall the closing line. That would be twin brother, John, and myself. I thought of this three years ago when his brothers plus a first cousin were pall bearers at Jimmy’s funeral.

So there are three generations: Grandfather, Father, and self. Not long after marriage to Harriet Elizabeth Clarkson I heard these excited words from her: “We’re going to have a baby.” That would be the first of 9. We raised 7 of them to full adulthood. Twins ( a boy and a girl) were premature and did not survive more than 24 hours. Those 9 would be the 4th generation. 5 of 7 married and we have a dozen grandchildren - generation 5. Two of them are currently married and have daughters. Arianna Elisabeth was born Oct. 8, 2008 and Sophie Harriet Elizabeth was born 12/16/2008. Voila! Generation 6 covering at this date (9/4/2009) 152 years. And with the Great Granddaughters carrying their Great Gramma’s name there is evidence of how important she was to her grand children. 1At the age of 84 (6 weeks shy of 85) I believe that this historical background gave me a deeper appreciation of John Jakes’ series of novels - The Kent Family Chronicles which dealt with early American History.

Memories

Every once in a while I look at the family picture taken as we celebrated a lot of October birthdays and anniversaries on October 8, 2005. Betty (the wife) and Jimmy (son) were still living, and we had a glorious celebration with all the family and many extended family. Betty died shortly after in December of leukemia, and Jimmy died from a lung cancer he had been fighting for a number of years the following August.

I have spent most of this morning listening to a couple of CD's nephew Mark made at the time of our birthdays in October (mine on the 15th hers on the 16th), and in late November in the Hospital. (Less than a week before her death.) I listen to these recordings from time to time just to hear that beautiful well modulated voice, and to hear her chuckle and at times laugh uproariously. I often think of that voice when I have to listen to some female TV announcer with a high pitched nasal twang.

I can listen now without to much grief, but I do miss her. Just today I noticed how many blooms are on the roses in front of the house. I can't bring you a rose, my dear. "Oh, relax," I hear her say. "I can see them from up here. They are lovely," And last night I noticed the single bloom on one of her African Violets. A single bloom just as she was the single beauty in my own life. I love you, dear, and I miss you still.

Reading

I've been enjoying my Amazon Kindle reader. So far I've been able to read Moby Dick, Misquoting Jesus, 100 Years of Solitude, and Undres Me in the Temple of Heaven. I'm beginning to read "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao" which was suggested by Christopher (grandson). I got the Kindle toward the end of June. The most frustrating part of it is that it list percent read, but no page numbers. I did learn the "search" technique the other day so if I know what I'm looking for it can be found. I'm sure there is a lot more about it I will find out, but at the present it does provide a "lightweight" source to hold and read. Some older books can be downloaded for 99 cents. Others have cost me $9.99. Two of my children gave me Amazon Gift cards for Father's day. There is still some money left in that till. Any suggestions for good reads?

Dances With Wolves

Instead of turning off the TV tonight after the evening news and Jeopardy I looked at the schedule and decided to watch Dances With Wolves. I'd seen this when it first came out, and remembered that it was pretty much set in territory I'm familiar with. Costner plays an Army officer who is assigned to a wilderness post. When he gets there it is vacant. There is a Sioux tribe nearby and he eventually makes friends with them, and pretty much abandons his post since no one else ever shows up. He learns Lakota and eventually meets up with a "white" gal who has been adopted into the tribe. She is in mourning and cannot accept any expressed interested from Dances With Wolves until her adopted father (the Chief) says that she no longer has to mourn. To shorten my point they marry and he returns to the Post to recover his journal. It is now fully occupied by an advance group preparing to attack Natives. They take Dances With Wolves hostage, but are essentially wiped out by Sioux who come there to rescue their friend. Dances With Wolves decides that he had better leave the tribe as the US soldiers will be looking for both him and the tribe. He talks with his wife about her choice. She essentially says that he has made the choice and that "my place is with you." Here's the point: When I decided that I must leave Iowa and go to Seminary in Massachusetts I talk with my dear wife about this and all she said was, "You'd better take me with you." It is easy to see that I truly related to that part of the movie.

I can also recommend it as well worth watching.

Farmer's Market

Saturday morning is when the Billings family gets together for breakfast and visit. This is typically at brother John and Jean's place. Today (8/1/09) we gathered here for sourdough waffles. My starter needed to be "started" for renewal, and everyone seems to enjoy the waffles. In addition to John and Jean, Mark and Rosanna and their dogs were here. This gave me a chance to show-off my new Kimble. It got a good workout. I had set the sourdough Thursday afternoon so it had a chance to renew well. I put some pecan chips in, but for the most part they were to small to be noticed. Next week I'll be going over to visit with Ann and Bill. Pete will be west of town (Molt) participating in the NAMI bike ride raising funds for the National Association for Mental Illness.

Right now I'm doing the dishes and washing the sheets off my bed. They are silky and won't stay on. I wake up in the middle of the night with no cover save the PJ's. The blanket has slid off to the floor and then the top sheet. I'll put the old ripped cotton one on now. Betty repaired the rips many years ago. It stays!

A Prayer for Peace

I mentioned my involvement in Peace Studies elsewhere on Facebook. On coming downstairs to the I-MAC I had this prayer lying around. It is dated 2/20/2004 - JRT: I had to post it in parts on Facebook because of character limitation. I list it here in it's complete form. The "child" I remember killed in battle was a high school classmate who went into the military just after graduation and was killed very soon after deployment. (In those days we were "children" until we reached 21 years of age.) Two other young men, Rocky Mountain College graduates, were killed in Vietnam shortly after their graduation. The news in Montana this Spring and Summer is to often about the death of a young person killed in a traffic accident. And today's news (7/23/09) tells of the location of the counseling records of a young man who killed and injured numerous students at Va. Tech, and the recent drive-by shooting at a Texas University.

"God, our Father, we are comforted by the words in Holy Scripture that you love us and that you will be with us in all the trials, all the fears, all the joys that life may bring. We are your children. But in the great scheme of things we, too, are parents. Our children also face trials and we suffer on their behalf. Some of us remember friends who were killed in battle at the time we ourselves were children. And we know of those who are injured or killed even as we kneel in prayer this day. O Father, God, Still our warring natures and give us peace this day. We ask this in the name of the Christ. Amen.

The Institute for Peace Studies will sponsor a "Peace Camp" mid-August for pre-teens to help them deal with frustration without resorting to violence. This has been a very successful program for the past 4-5 years.

The Kindle Experience

I ordered from Amazon a Kindle DX about three weeks ago. I downloaded on June 20th two books. They came through promptly. I have now finished "One Hundred Years of Solitude". It is a slow read and I'm not sure I really liked it. This book along with "Moby Dick" was being considered as an assignment for a college Freshman English course - plus "To Kill A Mocking Bird"." The prof has since told me that "On Hundred Years" will not be the assignment. I will tackle "Moby Dick" next since I've never read it. I did get "Mocking Bird" at the time of publication.

The Kindle is a fascinating device. It is light weight and the type face can be adjusted for size. After reading several 600+ page novels this year I opted for something which will not tire out my arms as I hold it. It's an expensive toy - the larger one cost me nearly $500, but the books are cheaper than hard backs and others. "One Hundred Years" cost me 99 cents. and "Moby Dick" came to $1.99. More recent tomes sell typically for $9.99 or less. It is a bit disconcerting not to have the heft of pages yet to be read. Kindle gives percentage read at the bottom.

Well, it's been a while since I Blogged so I figured I'd better make contact.

Family Education History

I have often read of families where some individual is the first to have graduated from College. When I was growing up many kids dropped out of school after the sixth grade and many more after 9th grade. My own mother finished the 8th grade, but that was the norm for girls of her generation. She was born in 1889. On the other had my father finished some sort of collegiate institution at Marshall College in Huntington, WV. He was born in 1884. I have seen the diploma, but have long since lost track of it. Several years ago I began a list of educational completions of my own family - children, grandchildren, and spouses. In view of the recent graduation of a Granddaughter, Natalie, and graduate degrees by a Grandson and his wife I have brought the list up to date. Here it is: It is a reason for pride!

Jim Taylor family high school grads:

James R.
Harriet C.
Kenneth
Ann - Bill
David - (Janet) - Suzanne
Jimmy - Cecilia
Willie - Karyn
Paul - (Ronda) - Louise
Pete

Stephanie - John
Christopher - Kristi
Andrew
Brandon
Jonathan
Nathan
Larry
Geoffrey
Natalie

College Grads

James R.
Harriet C.
Kenneth
Ann - Bill
David - (Janet) - Suzanne
Jimmy - Cecilia
Willie - Karyn
Paul - Louise
Pete

Stephanie - John
Christopher - Kristi
Nathan
Brandon

Graduate Degrees

James R. MA, MDiv, Dr Pub Service (Honorary)
Kenneth MA
Christopher MA
Kristi MLS

Comfort One

This appeared in our comic section yesterday and relates directly to my last visit with my Primary Care MD. I asked about getting a handicap sticker and we took care of that. The we talked about my end of life care document on file with the hospital. Dr. Gerstner suggested that it might be a good idea to make sure that ambulance personnel and other emergency medical personnel know my intentions. Since I'm 84 and have had two major heart attacks and by-pass surgery twice it seems appropriate to direct that nothing dramatic be done to continue life if there is another incident. In other words: Do Not Resuscitate. I am now wearing a bracelet which says: Comfort One. The information for such a status follows.

WILL
Suction the Airway
Administer Oxygen
Position for comfort
Splint
Control bleeding
Provide pad medication (Advanced Life Support only)
Provide emotional support
Contact hospice, home health agency or attending physician

Will NOT
Initiate CPR
Administer chest compression
Intubate
Initiate cardiac monitoring
Administer cardiac resuscitation drugs
Defibrillate
Prvide ventilatory assistance

And if someone has started such procedures they will be stopped.

As Gerstner says: Not that anything is going to happen soon, it is better to be prepared. See you in 6 months.

Strange

Well, I'm not sure of the title. Strange, what? But it seemed a bit odd to me that I got a check yesterday which was a refund from the Billings Clinic for "amount paid by patient." I had been previously billed for that and, of course, paid it. Today I saw my Dentist for a couple of fillings to preserve crowns and there goes the refund. If not strange then it was certainly good timing. And not only that I got $250 so-called stimulus from the government today. It'll all be spent later this month as we go to the granddaughter's graduation.

Are these the last days?

I had a visit with my personal physician yesterday. Lab work done Tuesday. Blood work is essentially positive. My cholesterol readings are good in line with 80 mg of Lipitor and 10 mg of zetia every day. Potassium is a bit high, but that result from 14 hours of fasting.

Toward the end of the visit the doc asked about living will, etc. He has a national form known as Comfort One. Agreement with this means that nothing extraordinary will be done if I have a heart attack including loss of function. Betty and I had signed living wills years ago indicating pretty much the same. These directives allow some intervention, but essentially express a Do Not Resuscitate option. I'm sure that this was operative in ICU when Betty contracted sepsis accompanying leukemia in Dec. 2005. Things were done to make her comfortable, and many of us were there when the heart gave its last beat.

I also got a form to apply for a handicap sticker. This will make it easier to find a parking place at stores like Costco, Wal Mart, etc. At time I've had to park a long way from the entrances. I'm sure it will be a big help when I want to attend an event at The Metra - Billings' sports and Fair venue.

As Dr.Gerstner said, this isn't to imply that something will happen soon, and I'll see you in six months.

The Investment World

Many years ago Betty and I decided that we should begin to think about retirement, possible widowhood, etc. From the time I was employed at Rocky (1961-1994) 5% of income was contributed to TIAA/CREF. This was matched by the College. In the early years the majority was contributed to the College Retirement Equities Fund. So most of the time I was investing at low market prices. After our children graduated from College we were able to invest in some Mutual Funds. We went with a guy who was selling for American Funds and put IRA money there. He decided to leave that job, so we transferred our funds to Edward Jones with a former student at Rocky who I knew well. Betty's IRA went in one fund and mine in another, and we were able to buy into three other funds. After I had retired we decided that we should establish a Family Trust and name our youngest and oldest sons as successor Trustees. The Funds, house, cars, and everything else in in the Trust. At one point we agreed to transfer one of the Funds to the Scholarship Endowment Fund at Rocky Mountain College. Later I increased this gift and it stands as an Annuity which will go to the College at my death.

At Retirement I made a decision to take my funds from TIAA/CREF as 2/3rds from the Annuity portion with a 15 year guarantee. It will pay for life, but the 15 years since retirement are nearly up - 8/1994 to 8/2009. The 1/3rd from Equities changes the amount deposited once a year with the May payment. My income from this investment will decrease 55% from the previous month. Fortunately Social Security and TIAA are both up over last year. And, while the Mutual Funds have lost big time they have shown some growth the past few weeks, and I have not had to cash them in at all except for the required IRA distribution last year. That has been cancelled as a requirement for 2009. It looks as if I'll survive another year, at least financially.

States I've lived in

Following is a list of U.S. States in which I have lived for at least a few months if not years. I grew up in Huntington, WV and left there after 26 years. During these years I was stationed 3-4 months each in North Carolina, Colorado, and California. I also attended Summer School in Cincinnati, OH. In the Summer of 1947 I lived and worked in Hartford, Conn. I left WV to attend Penn State June 1950-August 1951. Then it was Davenport, IA for 4 years, Seminary in Massachusetts for 4 years; Pastorate in New Jersey for 18 months, and now in Montana since August 1961. So that is: WV, NC, CO, CA, OH, CT, PA, IA, MA, NJ, MT. Eleven out of fifty and no desire to add to the list. In fact Montana has been a blessing in terms of the education of our children, climate, health care, and long term friendships. I certainly don't miss "country roads" or the "Rocky Mountain High." An allergy plus humidity was very much a health problem in the Ohio and Mississippi River valleys. The so-called "banana belt" of Billings, MT has been almost ideal. How was I to know when in Junior High school my music teacher taught us the Montana State Song that I would live her for nearly half a century. Iowa may be "best on every hand", but Montana "of all the States . . . is easily the best."

Life goes on -

Well, I'm not thinking of Resurrection on this Holy Saturday, but of my own continued living after heart surgery. And here is the other prayer I wrote after coming to. This in October 1980.

"One stops to think of what could be - a last farewell unknown, because the anticipation is just "so long' for now. Life means so much, that even in face of serious illness or surgery it is next to impossible to believe that every-thing will not turn out alright.

The calls and letters all assure me that this is so. Aunt Vivian, she of faith and great strength, Katy, Alice, Donna - these all assure me tat their prayers will be answered, and I am certain that they will.

But there is the other side and the answer may not be what we all so fervently hope. Yet I'm held by love. The concern of Ken, who calls from Minneapolis; of Jim, who promises a week-end visit; of Ann with her beautiful handmade card (What, in Ashland, MT, could be found which would be as meaningful?); of David and his Janet who share their Stephanie with me; of Will, with the quiet humor and growing faith; of Paul, rough hewn and strong who accepts life as it comes; and of Pete, busy, busy, busy, who knows what thoughts run deep within that heart and mind which are so obviously dedicated to God and to truth.

And so - farewell - to see you soon - this day - this place; but if not, then on the other side of tomorrow where God invites us all to be with Him and with each other in His glorious hereafter.

Amen

Heart History

I had coronary by-pass surgery in May or June 1973 in Denver, CO. This procedure was recommended again by my cardiologist in 1980. I was President of the Big Sky Area of American Baptists at that time so I scheduled the surgery for early October after the Annual Convention. Today, (4/9/09) I scheduled a time to participate in a Prayer Vigil at our Church so I took along a couple of books of prayer for use. A book of Prayers for the Christian Year published for the Church of Scotland and John Baillie's Diary of Private Prayer. It has been a while since I looked at either of these volumes. In one I found three prayers I had written at the time of the 2nd heart surgery - this time in Billings at what was then known as Deaconess Hospital, now Billings Clinic. Here is the prayer written 10-8-1980 at 5:30 a.m.

"Lord God, now in this hour of my need let me feel your presence. And as surgeons and nurses prepare for what they must do this morning be with them as well - for we are all in this thing together. Thanks for the sleep gotten through that little pill. Be with Betty, and all the children to "keep them loose", and bring us once again to joy in this your earth. Amen."

After it was over I wrote the following:

"Thank you, God, for the skill and dedication of all nurses and aides and those who perform the routine tasks of the hospital. It is through their hands that we are comforted as it is in your hands that we are kept. Help each of us, employee and patient alike, to know that healing is a God-function, and help us to do our part to aid that process and that hope. Amen

Musing

It's been a while since I posted more than a sentence or two and that on Facebook which is strikly limited to family members. It is great to be able to keep tabs on those children, grandchildren, nephew and nieces as well as a few grand nephews & nieces who have signed up on Facebook and joined me as friends. I keep getting suggestions from Facebook of people I might be interested in, but I've determined to keep my part "family." That runs into the 30"s.

Between Facebook and e-mail I sometimes wonder about my telephone. Sometimes there a days when it never rings. Other times the window tells me it's something I don't want to answer. Yet, I have unlimited minutes to call family spread out from the East to the West coasts. I'll post the address of this Blog on Facebook in case anybody wants to check it out.