I wrote something the other day about how some of the songs from South Pacific had reminded me so much of the loss of my wife, Betty. My brother-in-law responded later that this also happens to him in remembrance of his sister who had died 25 years ago. Its only been 7 months, so it doesn’t take much for me to remember the good times and all that we meant to each other. Near the end of Tim Russert’s book about his Father and his own journey into TV he tells of the death of the 17 year old adopted son of his former boss at NBC. Russert called the man to express his sympathy. The father is reported as saying: “I don’t know how to deal with it. I had a wonderful, robust, healthy boy on Tuesday he got sick on Wednesday, and he died on Thursday.” Since the lad was adopted Russert at one point in the conversation said: “What if God had come to you and said, ‘Michael, I’m going to make you an offer. I will give you a . . . son for 17 years then it will be time for him to come home.” You would have made that deal in a second, right?”

I then thought of the over 56 years of the gift of love which was mine, and I wouldn’t exchange them for anything. To quote Russert further (he had a strong Roman Catholic upbringing) death “is God’s design, God’s plan.” He blessed me for longer than the lifetime of many including two of my own brothers. Today I picked up Philip Yancy’s book “Disappointment with God”. He starts with a visit with a young man who is giving up on God because “life isn’t fair.” I will have to admit that in my grief I have had the same thoughts. I remember being reminded of the wedding script where the clergy says “What God has joined together let no man put asunder.” And I railed within myself to the effect that while no man should separate the two God had, himself, done it. “It is God’s design, God’s plan.” I find it hard to believe that this old guy lives on in spite of having had a heart attack at 33 years of age and by-pass surgery twice. And Betty says to me one Sunday morning “Take me to the Clinic”. And in two weeks she is dead. My comfort is that she did not suffer long and most of our family were here to visit her at the hospital. 80 beautiful years and including our engagement over 56 of them I was privileged to share.