Widower-hood

As I sat in Church last Sunday I noticed two of our retired clergy sitting together. Hugh has just recently lost his wife, and Paul was widowed 3-4 years ago when Mary Lou died. She had been wheel chair bound for some time. Mary Huntley died soon after planned surgery which resulted in a massive blood clot to the brain. She never recovered, and was dead within a week. Ahead in front of me was A layman, younger than myself, whose wife died after a long battle with cancer. Today I went to the College to attend an Art Exhibit of current teachers work. There was some pretty nice work n display. One of my colleagues, now retired, was also there. Bob Morrison's wife died from a massive clot which lodged in her brain just over a year ago. I had not seen Bob since that time so it was good to have a chance to talk with him. He also expressed that it was "good" to have a chance to talk. He commented that he was still adjusting. He though early of selling the "big" house they were living in, but the children all said "no". "Where would we stay?" I, of course, know that feeling. I want to always be available to house any of the children who are able to come for a visit, and with Pete living with me taking care of things is no problem.

I guess that what started all this in the realization that it is not always the husband who dies first. And just like Bob, we soon come to the realization of how much the wife has been doing and we were not quite aware. And in recent weeks I have thought often of how often I was on the road - out of town - and Betty was left to raise the kids, and take care of things. Now I wonder if I did not miss the most rewarding part of being in a family.